I started this blog to be honest. Honest with myself and with others about how difficult this truly is. It has been one month since I had my surgery. I still weigh 233lbs. That means that in the last two weeks I have lost NO weight. I know that it is my fault and it’s depressing. I feel very normal, almost like I never had the surgery. I haven’t had my first fill yet and so the band is doing nothing at this point. I have slowly but surely starting working my way back into my old habits. I’m hungry a lot in the evenings and have been snacking, which is a big no-no. I see now that this is the point in diets that I fail. I have been pushing and pushing and now I’m not seeing any results and I give up. I know that with the Lap Band those things are going to change soon, thank God.
I feel like I need a jumpstart. I haven’t been exercising like I should be and some days not at all. I don’t know why I feel disappointed if I haven’t put in 100% effort. I feel like a giant hypocrite. I tell my husband all the time that he can’t whine or be disappointed if he doesn’t succeed at something unless he put in 100% effort. Ouch… talk about a lesson for myself.
I feel motivated just by sharing this with you all. It makes me accountable. I can’t just hideaway and forget about the mistakes.
On a happy note… I had to go shopping today to buy and outfit for a baby shower I’m throwing my cousin this weekend. I was going to wear a dress I had but when I tried it on it didn’t fit… it was too BIG! It wasn’t enormous or anything but it hung off my shoulders and chest oddly. I went to Old Navy, where I usually can’t buy pants because they don’t carry plus size in the store and I do buy shirts but they are always XXL. Today I bought a skirt and a shirt in size XL. Both fit very well and I think I could have gone to an L in the skirt but it would have been too short for me.
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