Month 1 Down!

I started this blog to be honest. Honest with myself and with others about how difficult this truly is. It has been one month since I had my surgery. I still weigh 233lbs. That means that in the last two weeks I have lost NO weight. I know that it is my fault and it’s depressing. I feel very normal, almost like I never had the surgery. I haven’t had my first fill yet and so the band is doing nothing at this point. I have slowly but surely starting working my way back into my old habits. I’m hungry a lot in the evenings and have been snacking, which is a big no-no. I see now that this is the point in diets that I fail. I have been pushing and pushing and now I’m not seeing any results and I give up. I know that with the Lap Band those things are going to change soon, thank God.

I feel like I need a jumpstart. I haven’t been exercising like I should be and some days not at all. I don’t know why I feel disappointed if I haven’t put in 100% effort. I feel like a giant hypocrite. I tell my husband all the time that he can’t whine or be disappointed if he doesn’t succeed at something unless he put in 100% effort. Ouch… talk about a lesson for myself.

I feel motivated just by sharing this with you all. It makes me accountable. I can’t just hideaway and forget about the mistakes.

On a happy note… I had to go shopping today to buy and outfit for a baby shower I’m throwing my cousin this weekend. I was going to wear a dress I had but when I tried it on it didn’t fit… it was too BIG! It wasn’t enormous or anything but it hung off my shoulders and chest oddly. I went to Old Navy, where I usually can’t buy pants because they don’t carry plus size in the store and I do buy shirts but they are always XXL. Today I bought a skirt and a shirt in size XL. Both fit very well and I think I could have gone to an L in the skirt but it would have been too short for me.

Day #19 Post Op

I’m feeling pretty good overall. I still have some soreness in my stomach area but it’s not too bad. It feels like I did a lot of crunches or sit ups. I weighed in this morning at 232 lbs, which means in the last 5 days I have only lost one pound. That is very depressing but I know it is my fault.

The wagon from which I fell…

Well I had my first “bad” day. Excuses aside I didn’t plan well and ended up not eating anything from about 9:30am to 5:30pm and then felt the need to make up for it at dinner. This is one of my previous habits that caused me to gain in the first place. I felt bad about it, but apparently not bad enough to not do it. I ate out, which was another no-no . I also indulged WAY too much in sweets. I had 4 candies and 3 cookies. I just had a meltdown I guess. I decided I wasn’t going to let that get me down though. I started fresh the next day and I’m back on track.

 I need to work out more. I didn’t do so great over the weekend. I did a lot of house work but didn’t actually get in a walk or any real exercise. I need to bump up the time and intensity if I’m going to make an impact in my weight.

I’m really looking forward to my first fill. I made my appointment today and it’s not until May 9^th but I guess that is what I’ll be working toward!

As Requested!

My wonderful sister Amanda asked if I had been doing my measurements in addition to my weight. The answer was no. So I have since remedied that issue. Below are my measurements as of today.  Some of those numbers are pretty scary. I was pleased to see that there was some difference in my waist and hips though.

Area	4/13/2012
Neck	16
Bust	49.5
Waist	44
Hips	50
Thigh	25
Calf	17.5
Arm	15

My update so far is… I haven’t lost anymore weight. (Bummer) I have been going out every day and doing some type of physical activity. Usually I walk with my family around our neighborhood. I walked yesterday and pumped up the intensity. I’m a little sore in my stomach muscle area but I think that is just par for the course. I also started working out my arms. I don’t want to have bat wings so I’m trying to tone them up now. I have been struggling with what types of exercises to do though. My arms are pretty week and I don’t have any workout equipment except a balance ball and two 8lb dumbbells. I used the dumbbells last night and they seemed too heavy but I used them anyway. If anyone has suggestion I would love to hear them!

Two Weeks Post Op

Overall I am feeling great. I still have some soreness in my side where my port site is, it seems to get worse with the more I push myself but I guess that is just the muscle healing.

I bought a new scale today. I may have mentioned that the one I had was a piece of junk. The last weigh in on the old scale said 231, the first weigh in on the new scale said 233. I’m just glad that I will have an accurate reading going forward. Based on my new scale I have lost 11 pounds since surgery, 24 pounds since my pre-op diet and 30 pounds since I started on my journey. I’m really happy with that. I don’t feel like I have lost 30 pounds but I can tell there is some difference when I look at pictures. I have another 73 pounds to go before I reach my goal weight of 160 and I feel motivated. 30 pounds down without even getting one fill. Pretty awesome!

I have been struggling some with eating but I have really been trying to branch out and try new things. I have also been journaling… EVERYTHING!! This is so important, at least for me. I have total accountability when I journal everything. I have not gone over 1200 calories at all, and most days I’m below 1000. If I didn’t write it all down I wouldn’t have any idea what I was eating. I have also been doing LOTS of measuring. Learning portion sizes is enlightening. I had no idea what the portion sizes were on so many things. A have also become crazy at reading labels. Sometimes what you think is healthier may have more calories than the regular version. (Example: I found corn tortillas have almost exactly the same nutritional content as flour tortillas, so why not eat the one I like if it’s the same?)

Water, water, and then have some water:

 I have had a challenge getting my water in but I have a cup that is 16oz. and every time I finish a cup, I journal it. As the evening approaches if I don’t have 4 checkmarks by my water I know I need to pick up the pace.

Meds/Protein:

Well I have been off my Blood Pressure medication since the day before surgery (Woot Woot!). It’s amazing how fast your body reacts to diet changes. I have been taking my multi vitamin once a day and my calcium three times a day. I keep track of that in my journal too. I have a protein shake everyday for breakfast. I didn’t eat breakfast before the surgery so this was not a difficult transition for me. I add fiber into my shake in the mornings, the flavorless kind. I also check this off in my journal so that I don’t forget. 

Summation: JOURNAL… JOURNAL… JOURNAL!!

NSV! (AKA Non Scale Victories)

I hadn’t heard this term before until I started researching the Lapband. It’s pretty self explanatory but I guess I’ll explain it anyway… Basically a Non Scale Victory is something that has changed in a positive way since you started losing weight but it might not be reflected on the scale. For example…

I had my very first NSV yesterday. During my pre-op diet I took my kids for a walk in the stroller almost every day. We live in an apartment complex (in the back) and I would push the kids to the front to check the mail and drop off the trash. After making that trip I would be very tired and usually go to the park and let my kids play while I sat down and rested.

 Yesterday I went down to the mail and dropped off the trash and I felt good… I felt really good. I could tell I was lighter and quicker. I decided I didn’t want to go to the park and sit down. I just kept walking. I walked most of the neighborhood and I didn’t get tired until about 20 feet away from my door. It was amazing. It seems like something so small but it was great. I would venture to say that my first NSV has been the best part so far. I am totally looking forward to walking with the kids again today.

Bad Choices... Damn!

Okay so my husband wanted to have hamburgers tonight for dinner. I decided that we could have mini hamburgers and that I would just eat the patty with some cheese. I looked at the protein content and decided that would be fine. I made the hamburgers and then sat down to calculate and journal what I was about to eat… and then I saw it… 330 calories and 26 grams of fat for 1 patty (not including the cheese on it)!!! I had originally planned that I would eat two patties with cheese but after I realized how many calories it was going to be I decided that I would only eat one. Then I ate it… I was so disappointed. It wasn’t very good and it was not enough to make me full. I should have stopped after the first bite but I didn’t. I was hoping that it would fill me up and that I wouldn’t care if I wasn’t hungry anymore. Unfortunately I was not full but I refused to eat another one. I decided that I would make myself something else. I made a salmon patty with egg white, chives and a little bread crumb. It was great and the same size as the hamburger patty. It was 161 calories and only 3 grams of fat… I could have had 2 of those for what my one not so great hamburger patty had. Anyway I told my husband next time he wants burgers I’m just going to have a salmon patty and save myself all the trauma. Anyway my point in posting this is… if you “think” maybe I shouldn’t have this… YOU SHOULDN’T!! Listen to your inner self and even if you take a bite, or two, or three it’s not too late to stop and make a better decision.

Good Luck!

Post Op Day #12

Pain?

It has been minimal. I would say that I have tried to overdo it a little. I have a 10 month old who I’m not supposed to pick up, but at times I have to. I can feel the pain when I do but I’m trying to be mindful and use mostly my arms and not my stomach muscles. I feel it the most when I get up in the morning after sleeping in the same position for a long time but otherwise I feel almost normal.

Food?

I would just like to say that I- AM- FIRED!! I have absolutely not been following the liquid diet at all this week. I am following the guidelines for mushy/solid foods. I’m not eating anything bad for me and I’m food journaling everything. I am starving though. I can eat almost as much as I did before surgery. I’ve heard this referred to as “Laplanders’ Hell”. I would totally agree. After your stomach swelling goes down… it’s all on you again. You have to have the will power and the strength to make good choices and to not eat what you really want.

Thoughts?

I’m not seeing my doctor again until I’m 6 weeks out from surgery and I’m seriously concerned about gaining again and eating what I want. Time will tell.

Weight?

Things have been slow going but it’s difficult to know for sure. I was using a really great digital scale and now I have my crappy scale. I weighed in at 236 at one point this week and today I weighed in at 231. I hope that 231 is correct.

Surgery Day: 244

Post Op Appointment (Week 1): 239

Week 2: 231

Week #1 Post Op

Pain?

I would say that the recovery is almost as I had expected it to be. I was sore at first and less sore now. I did have an issue around day 5-7 where my port site began to burn like fire. It has been totally fine but I went to the park and walked a lot the day before and I think I over did it. I felt like it was tearing every time I moved. It did eventually go away. (Thank God)

 Food?

At first I could hardly eat anything. I would have a spoonful of something and be full or just a taste and felt full right away. That went away pretty quickly though and by about day 4 I was hungry. I wanted to eat, eat, eat. I drank my protein shakes and soups and things but was still super hungry. I eventually advanced to some soupy great northern beans, which were great and high in protein too. I ate that several times during the last half of week 1.

Thoughts?

I’m already worried about eating too much again. I can’t wait to get a fill so I don’t have this hungry feeling all the time. It is really unbearable. If I had the strength to resist it, I would have done so long before surgery.

Weight?

Well… good news I guess. I of course want it to be more… you always want it to be more right?

Surgery Day: 244

Post Op Appointment: 239

Surgery Day 03-27-12

I had to report to the hospital at 5:30am and my surgery was scheduled at 7:30am. I left my kids with my parents. I cried when I said goodbye to them. I know it sounds silly but it was possible that could be the last time I saw them and that was so scary.  I was okay after a few minutes but it was hard. My husband was also away at the time and I hadn’t seen him in nearly a month so that made it even worse. (Dang Army) My sister Amanda went with me. She was a trooper for getting up so early, taking the day off work and sitting around the hospital with me. We came in around 5:20am and got signed in. There were a lot of people waiting in the surgery area but it didn’t appear that any were there for Lapband. I got called back a few minutes later and a nice older lady was my pre-op nurse. She was great. She had bariatric surgery 7 years earlier and looked great. She was super reassuring and made me feel at ease. I got an IV and they asked me that same 30 or so questions I had already answered 1200 times again. We waited and my doctor came by he said it would be soon they were just waiting on the room to get ready. A little while later the Anesthesiologist came in and asked me some routine questions and checked my throat. Everything was all good. The nurse came back in later and gave me something in my IV to help me relax and I don’t remember much after that.

I woke up to someone jamming a needle in my thigh… It HURT! (2 weeks later I still have a bruise) I was really tired and couldn’t seem to keep my eyes open. I’m not really sure how long that went on for. Eventually (maybe an hour or so) I was more alert. The nurse explained that I had an allergic reaction to something (they were not sure exactly what) and that I had been given a pretty good dose of Benadryl, which was why I was so tired. Apparently I started to turn really blotchy during the surgery. The shot that I was talking about was not the Benadryl though… so don’t think you will get out of that one. (lol) I asked the doctor about it and he said it was Heparin. It is supposed to stop the blood from clotting and everyone gets it. I think I was in recover for 3 to 5 hours but was feeling pretty good when it was time to go. I even pressured the nurse a little to let us go ahead and leave. My doctor came by just to make sure everything was all okay and he brought me a stuffed bear. It was super cute and I thought that was extremely nice, even if they do it for everyone it still makes you feel good to get a gift in the hospital. After that we left!

I was given a prescription for liquid Hydrocodone, luckily we were smart and called a couple of pharmacies before we left to make sure they carried the liquid version, several did not. We ended up heading over to a Publix to get it filled. I also picked up some Crystal Light and my awesome sister picked up a Publix dinner for my family since they had been at home with my two little ones all day. I slept the rest of the day.

Pre-Op Diet Day #14

Date	Time	Type	Amount	Calories	Protein	Carbs	Fat
3/26/2012	8:24 AM	Crystal Light	1 Packet	10	0	0	0
3/26/2012	9:15 AM	Crystal Light	1 Packet	10	0	0	0
3/26/2012	10:05 AM	Crystal Light	1 Packet	10	0	0	0
3/26/2012	11:15 AM	Crystal Light	1 Packet	10	0	0	0
3/26/2012	8:24 AM	Atkins Shake	1 Can	160	15	2	9
3/26/2012	10:54 AM	Atkins Shake	1 Can	160	15	2	9
3/26/2012	2:53 PM	Atkins Shake	1 Can	160	15	2	9
3/26/2012	5:37 PM	Atkins Shake	1 Can	160	15	2	9
3/26/2012	6:45 PM	Unjury	1 Scoop	100	20	4	0.5
			Totals	780	80	12	36.5
Thoughts on the day:
Today was a hard day. I felt really weird and ended up calling the doctor about my lightheadedness. I think it is my BP meds making my BP too low. I almost passed out this morning. I took a few minutes to recollect myself and had a shake. I felt much better. I tried to stay light today since surgery is so early in the morning. Super excited.

Pre-Op Diet Day #13

Date	Time	Type	Amount	Calories	Protein	Carbs	Fat
3/25/2012	8:54 AM	Premier Protein	1 Can	160	30	5	3
3/25/2012	9:05 AM	Crystal Light	1 Packet	10	0	0	0
3/25/2012	10:02 AM	Crystal Light	1 Packet	10	0	0	0
3/25/2012	11:32 AM	Crystal Light	1 Packet	10	0	0	0
3/25/2012	1:37 PM	Crystal Light	1 Packet	10	0	0	0
3/25/2012	6:37 PM	Soup	1 Cup	210	18	1	5
3/25/2012	8:37 PM	Premier Protein	1 Can	160	30	5	3
			Totals	570	78	11	11
Thoughts on the day:
Today was okay. I'm starting to feel lightheaded and not really great. I'm looking forward to surgery though and feel really good about it. I was a little short on my protein today but only by two. I think it was close enough. I didn’t want to drink another shake before bed.

Pre-Op Diet Day #12

Date	Time	Type	Amount	Calories	Protein	Carbs	Fat
3/24/2012	8:30 AM	Crystal Light	1 Packet	10	0	0	0
3/24/2012	9:45 AM	Crystal Light	1 Packet	10	0	0	0
3/24/2012	9:45 AM	Unjury	1 Scoop	100	20	4	0.5
3/24/2012	10:45 AM	Premier Protein	1 Can	160	30	5	3
3/24/2012	11:20 AM	Atkins Shake	1 Can	160	15	2	9
3/24/2012	8:30 PM	Soup	1 Cup	210	18	1	5
3/24/2012	8:20 PM	Crystal Light	1 Packet	10	0	0	0
3/24/2012	8:50 PM	Crystal Light	1 Packet	10	0	0	0
			Totals	670	83	12	17.5
Thoughts on the day:
Today was a busy day and I did a lot of physical activity. I went to the park with my kids. We walked for about a mile and then played on the playground for over an hour. We also went to the pond and I chased my daughter around. I felt pretty weak after all that. It was hard to drink any protein after getting so hot. I was not able to have a shake for the rest of the day. I just felt like if I drank it, I would throw up. I drank more that my 64oz of water today which was great. Still not really enjoying the diet or the protein but I'm hoping it will be better soon.